Your portion of hilarious jokes for the day is here to brighten your week-end !
“I wasn’t that drunk yesterday.”
“Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.”
Of course I should clean my windows. But privacy is important too.
When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there’s no domestic violence going on.
Why isn’t the military accepting karate pros?
Because when they salute they might kill themselves.
I am coughing and my nose is stuck.
Internet diagnosis: I am 26 weeks pregnant !
A glass of Nutella has about 9870 calories. But I don’t care. I never eat the glass anyway.
Web site log in: Sorry, your password 257EeffQ@# is not secure enough.
Cash machine login 1234: Here’s your 1000 dollars.
Waiter? I’m sorry, but I cannot eat all this. Would you be so kind and pack it for me? To take away?
But sir, this is a buffet.
Pack it up I said!
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
“You know how it is in life. One door closes – that means another door opens…”
“Yeah, very nice, but you either fix that or I’m expecting a serious discount on that car!”
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
I Googled “how to start a wildfire”.
I got 48,000 matches.
Apparently taking a day off is not something you should do when you work for a calendar company.
Jokes about PMS are NOT funny. Period.
Two wi-fi antennas got married last Saturday. The reception was fantastic.