10 Sarcastic Jokes

If you’re here, who’s running hell?

I can totally keep secrets. It’s the people I tell them to who can’t.

If I promise to miss you, will you go, like, really, really far away?

Don’t you hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious?


Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

They say you are what you eat, so lay off the nuts already.

Your mind might want to dance, but your body is a really awkward white guy.


I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must be none of your business then.

If you need so much space, there’s always NASA.


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